hi.. my problem started couple of years ago.. im an arabic girl who grow up in a mixed culture! living in islamic country surrounded by arab mentality! but raised up in western private non islamic education sysem.. let me mention that the reason why i wasn`t in normal schools is that my family was into bits, my father lives in another arabic country ,my mom lives with him and have lots of problems!! i believe they spent load of money on me and my well private education because they felt guilty deep inside for never being there!!! i cant remember one time i was with my mom and dad acting like real normal loving caring family.. i finished my uni.. as I.T engineer! witch i bloody hated it.. one day i decided i cant live where i lived any more, i was almost an adult, i got to know the world and ask many questions, my moslim family disagrred with me about my dreams in life.. i wanted to go search the world! believing that someday i`ll fine a place that i fit in, be my self! and live my life not my mom ar other ppls life, when i finished school i moved away from home to where my family lived in the other country for my uni.. i wasnt famous or populer when i was a kid, i cant even remember having friends, i was geek.. i was reading books about the universe and pholosophy when i was 10!!! ok . i tryed to fit in where i got (relocated) i hated it my family start to get to know me!! and hill starts. why am not covering my hair, why i dont pray, why im using the internet without permision! gosh it was mad! in my uni i was just the geek kid! guys never liked me! i had a weird shape to them! im skiny and my skin tone is almost brown, and my hair is curly!! hot girls are the big girls with big fat *** and white skin and silky hair.. i finished uni at last! living in a war feild ! im the black cheep in the family, i decided to move away! my family wont ever let me go so i had to do it in my own ! during my final exams i renew my passport and saved enough money for couple of monthes rent any air planes tickets.. i one day just disappeared . i just wanted to be on my own to get to know myself.. but life was mad..
i got a job easely, i didnt know why.. i got nice appt and i so easily socialized with lots of ppl.. ppl stare at me anywhere i go..guys are just stuped and insane when it comes to me!!! .. every one always tell me that im the most beautiful girl they ever saw!!!! i get girls cring for me to be there girlfriends!!!! freakin weird.... im size 6 english size, nature D bra size and ive got the biggest black eyes and curly black hair.. im the same girl that needed to eat because am skiny and ugly!!.. in the beganing i liked that.. then i hated it slowely,, guys never take me seriosly, they never look to me like they look to other girls, either staring at my body in a very rudeway or staring in my eyes with blank look.. now its couple of years im living in a holiday sunny place surrounded mostly by english .. i dont like ppl any more, now a days i sit in my house so long by by self cause when i look to my self i hate my body, i hate my boods and i hate not being treated as a very smart person that can do a lot more than looking good.. im writing this today because i just paid 5 grand to have a cosmatic surgery to get rid of my boobs, im getting it done 2 weeks from now.. i dont know what happen to me,, i hate my body .. i cry when i look at the mirror and see how ugly i am or i feel... i wonder when ppl stare at me! i wish if i can understand what they really like or see my self the way they see me.. im sad and pathatic aint i !?? .. i cant find love because guys never wanted to talk with me!! or when they do they i know they just pretend..!! girls oh god they are so bitchy with me, cant say not all the ppl that i know are bad but lets say that my good friends all of the over 40, males and females , smart , good, trustuble ppl but simply big gab in my age and thers.. im only 22..i have fun with them but i have more fun with ppl my age.. but they got to me and made me feel like a dull.. i have real good sales job,big house, lovely 2 cats.. am so populer and loved, im in the center of where all the events around me happen.. tho i hate my self and lately keeping my self away from ppl and now getting rid of my boobs,, im going mad.. what is wrong with me|||Anyone who reads this whole thing deserves points.|||i think yopu shouldn't have this cosmetic surgery. You're not happy because you haven't found the real you yet. Take some time to really know yourself before jumping up into such actions.|||keep your boobs because many women would love to have size D boobs......unless they are saggy then treat yourself to the surgery. Otherwise save the money for later when they do get saggy when you're older.
stop hating yourself.....usually when people don't love themselves it might be because they don't know what it's like to feel loved. you say you were away from your family a lot. You need to learn how to love yourself and become your own best friend. If you don't want to get the wrong attention fom your body, make sure not to wear shirts that are low-cut in the chest.
Start hanging around people that are more your age also %26amp; you'll be able to have more fun
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